Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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