How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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