There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
