Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
