this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
