i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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