Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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