so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
