I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
