idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
