I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
