OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
