I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
