the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
