3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
