Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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