Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
