Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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