Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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