i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
