But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
