how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
What a dumb baby whore.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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