No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
