loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Less talking, more tequila
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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