hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
