She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
