Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
