did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
