She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
