Small penises have feelings too.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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