hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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