Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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