): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
