watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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