so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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