I have demons in me.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
