We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
