Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
