Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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