Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
