Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
