C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You're like the curious george of whores
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
