You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize