Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
