we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
