Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
