I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
