Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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