i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
