No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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