She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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